


through space and time

by one_last_surprise



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Happy birthday Peter Parker, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Other, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, kinda infinity war compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_last_surprise/pseuds/one_last_surprise
Summary: As the days turn into weeks, Tony finds himself replaying the battle on Titan over and over in his head. He can’t shake the image of Peter pleading fo help as he stood helpless. The shock of the battle and the snap and being lost in space wears off, and numbness evolves into sorrow and anger and razor-sharp focus. He’ll find a way to bring him back. He has to.or: How Tony spends Peter's birthday in the years he's gone.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	through space and time

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wrote this for MCU Peter Parker's birthday. It is a little sad, but I promise it has a happy ending! It's also a different style than I usually do for fics. I hope you enjoy!

It’s hard to grieve for someone you don’t believe is truly gone. It’s hard to feel peace when you’re not sure you’ll get them back. And Tony’s finding it near impossible to follow doctors’ orders and take it easy while his body recovers from its month-long space jam. He didn’t plan on losing the kid. He had known it was a possibility, but he pushed that fear as deep down as he possibly could after naming him an Avenger. He would protect him. He would make sure Peter made it home. Now, he needs to find a way to bring him back. To bring everyone back. But his mind feels like it’s stuck in a dense fog, the team is in shreds, and Thanos is nowhere to be found. 

As the days turn into weeks, Tony finds himself replaying the battle on Titan over and over in his head. He can’t shake the image of Peter pleading fo help as he stood helpless. The shock of the battle and the snap and being lost in space wears off, and numbness evolves into sorrow and anger and razor-sharp focus. He’ll find a way to bring him back. He has to.

— — —

The weeks turn into months, and his pain turns into desperation. He can’t face his failure, so he leaves the city. The city is chaos and aliens and destruction and loss. He marries Pepper, a brief glimmer of light amidst the gloom that had settled over the world. She tells him that she’s pregnant, and Tony feels a leap in his chest. A second chance. Maybe he won’t be able to fix what he lost, but he won’t take for granted what’s right in front of him. 

The days grow warmer, and before long, he’s lost in summer gardening with Pepper and tinkering at the lake house. June turns to July, which melts into August, and he finds himself pulling up files on Thanos again. Tony’s not sure why he knows Peter’s birthday. He doesn’t even need FRIDAY to check the calendar. Maybe Peter mentioned it in passing or when Tony complemented a shirt that had been a birthday gift from May the year before. Whatever the reason, he knows that August 10th is Peter’s birthday. And he knows Peter won’t be there to celebrate it unless he finds a way to reverse the snap. He would’ve been 17. Tony spends the day alone, trying once again find a way to fix everything. Hoping to find a way to undo what had been done. He hugs Pepper tightly when she finds him forcing down another cup of coffee at 2:00 am. He hears the baby’s heartbeat, and it convinces him to go to bed. He whispers an “I’m sorry” under his breath before turning out the light and pretending to sleep. 

— — —

Peter’s 18th birthday comes a few weeks after Morgan’s first. Tony tries to focus on her, but he can’t help picture the child he lost whisking Morgan up in the air and spinning her around and around, gleeful smiles on both their faces. He sees Peter showing her how to do a front flip or make web fluid behind his back. He makes a donation to a STEM scholarship fund in Peter’s name. He imagines Peter applying for colleges and bursting through the lab doors with an acceptance letter from his top choice school. Tony skips a rock on the lake, his heart twisting for memories that don’t even exist. For futures that would never be. He wishes he had been strong enough to save him. He knows other people lost their children, mothers, fathers, wives, and husbands, but he can’t bear the weight of it all without breaking down into silent sobs. He looks up at the stars, a “happy birthday” silent on his lips. 

— — —

The kid’s 19th birthday passes in a blur. Arguments over whether to continue searching for a solution or settle into their unwelcome reality divide the team. Tony leaves, knowing Pepper and Morgan need him, but a part of him stays behind. Just as a piece of him was lost in Afghanistan, and in the wormhole, and on Titan. Dark holes pull his soul apart, but the smiles and embraces of the people he loves help stitch it back together. One gap remains. He packs up his things, and a picture of him and Peter flutters softly to the floor. It lands upside down. He can’t bring himself to flip it over.

— — —

On what would have been the kid’s 20th birthday, Tony almost forgets. The days had gotten easier, his failure a dull cloud instead of a raging thunderstorm. He spends the day with Morgan while Pepper runs errands. The world has found a way to carry on, despite its rifts, and he has too. When he thinks of the kid, he tries to focus on the good. It works, for the most part. He remembers his giddy excitement over the trip to Germany and the way his eyes lit up when a difficult problem finally made sense. But when Pepper calls to ask when Morgan’s next check-up at the doctor’s is, Tony sees the calendar. He sees the day. And his mind short-circuits. He goes on autopilot until Pepper is off the phone, and then Morgan crawls into his lap. Marshmallow goo covers her hands, and she smiles up at him. “You look like Spider-Man,” he says, kissing the top of her head. “It’s sticky!” she replies. Tony chuckles and takes her to get cleaned up. Maybe he’ll learn to live with a hole in his chest. After all, he’s done it before.

— — —

Pepper framed the picture and put it in the kitchen. Tony knows it’s there, but he tends to avoid looking at it for too long. Today, it makes him pause. He hasn’t tried everything yet. He’s not sure time travel could ever work. But he decides it’s worth a shot. After finishing the dishes and putting Morgan to bed, he heads down to the workshop. He tries to ignore the speeding thump-thump-thump of his heart, but hope continues to rise. His eyelids grow heavy, but he continues plugging in numbers and running simulations. He tells himself it won’t matter if he tries one more time, but he does it anyway. And it’s successful. He falls back in his seat, hardly believing what he sees. There’s a chance. There’s hope, and he latches onto it.

— — —

A few months before the next non-celebratory birthday and days before the so-called Time Heist, Tony records a message. He’s not sure he’ll be around to say it in-person, but he needs Peter to know that he was stumbling around in the dark without him, as if he was stuck in a suit with no power. He knows that plan is risky. He knows that reason he didn’t die five years ago was probably because he was meant to die now. But he just wants Peter to have another birthday. To have a future. He wants Morgan to grow up in a world where villains don’t win. He wants to exhaust every possible course of action and then try them all again before calling it quits.

— — —

The plan works. Tony can hardly believe it when Peter is standing in front of him again. He hugs the kid as tightly as he can while they’re both in suits. Five years gone in an instant. He doesn’t want to let the kid out of his sight, but the battle isn’t over yet. Tony fights like he’s never fought before. He does it for Pepper and Morgan. He does it for Peter. His past and his present and his future all hinge on this one moment, and he won’t let it slip away. The power of the stones surges through him, and he knows what he has to do. So he snaps.

— — —

They don’t celebrate his 21st birthday with drinks at a bar, but Peter doesn’t mind. He’s just grateful to be with the people he loves. Tony writes him a card and hand-delivers it, his metal arm glistening even in the crappy hallway light. Peter has dinner with Tony, May, Ned, and MJ. Both his and Tony’s eyes are battle-worn, their scars long from healed. And what should’ve been his 21st is only his 17th year on earth. He can’t really wrap his mind around it, though he’s not sure he wants to. When the others have gone home and May pretends to be busy in the kitchen, Peter and Tony make their way to the roof. They talk about everything and nothing, stealing back lost time. There’s a lull in the conversation, and Peter sighs contentedly as he gazes at the stars. He knows words won’t be enough to convey his gratefulness for his mentor, but he wants to try. He opens his mouth to speak, but Tony beats him to it. “Happy birthday,” Tony tells him, and Peter hugs him with tears in his eyes. “Thank you,” he replies, knowing that Tony understands the full meaning of the words. Peter senses that Tony would travel through space and time all over again if it meant rescuing him. He vows to do the same for Tony. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think with a comment/kudos:) Also, come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/one-last-surprise)!


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